I had a conversation with a friend this morning. He recalled a time when he went out to Long Island for a job. It was only three days a week, but he was making good money. His dream was to open his own business in New Jersey, however. He decided to work towards building his business on the two days he wasn’t out in Long Island. It went OK at first, but his business didn’t really take off until he let go of his obligations in Long Island. You can’t give everything you’ve got to two places, I suppose.
So, I wake up every morning feeling this “requirement” to go sit at the computer and teach myself Flash and Dreamweaver, but I never quite seem to get to it. I find myself drawn to my studio (no pun intended) and I just want to paint. Is that selfish? I also feel guilt towards painting, that I have to justify it, because I should be doing something more “profitable.” Maybe it’s time to “let go” of design – let go of the idea that the only way I can make money is to design. Letting go is very hard, but I am beginning to feel it’s the only way out of the corner I’ve found myself.
Now all I have to do is figure out how to do that.