Letting Go.


I had a conversation with a friend this morning. He recalled a time when he went out to Long Island for a job. It was only three days a week, but he was making good money. His dream was to open his own business in New Jersey, however. He decided to work towards building his business on the two days he wasn’t out in Long Island. It went OK at first, but his business didn’t really take off until he let go of his obligations in Long Island. You can’t give everything you’ve got to two places, I suppose.

So, I wake up every morning feeling this “requirement” to go sit at the computer and teach myself Flash and Dreamweaver, but I never quite seem to get to it. I find myself drawn to my studio (no pun intended) and I just want to paint. Is that selfish? I also feel guilt towards painting, that I have to justify it, because I should be doing something more “profitable.” Maybe it’s time to “let go” of design – let go of the idea that the only way I can make money is to design. Letting go is very hard, but I am beginning to feel it’s the only way out of the corner I’ve found myself.

Now all I have to do is figure out how to do that.

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2 Comments

  1. christine..i struggle with this as well.
    luckily my husband makes enough so i can live comfortably and paint to my hearts content.
    but i paid my dues..worked as maid for hotels..nurse (hospice) and also long term care..worked with disabled population..you name it ive done it. worked like a dog..manual labor and demeaning work at times.(think changing grown mens diapers)
    point is..all these experiences led me to this beautiful place. this place..where i roll out of bed..take my lab on a 4 mile hike through crunchy fall leaves in the woods, then come home..and head to my studio. sheer heaven. unbelievable heaven.
    never dreamed i would be her..this person..an artist.
    i believe CC that you will find a way. the universe will clear a path for you to go for what you love..i promise. it may take a few more years of grunt work..but thats ok..its where you should be..and when time is right, it will unfold perfectly..and you will have the sweet freedom to create.
    your friend..wendy

    • Thanks Wendy! It’s very true that if it’s my passion then the universe will find a way to make it happen. I just have to surrender and let the universe do it’s thing and stop getting in the way. It’s certainly cleared all the design work off my desk! All I have to do is paint… well maybe empty the dishwasher, occasionally! Now I just have to PAINT, and everything will fall into place. I have to trust that. Thanks for reminding me. I appreciate your words. I needed to hear them today!
      Christine

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