There was a time when I would scoop up any and all freelance design work that came my way. More because of fear than anything else. I didn’t want any opportunities to slip through my fingers. I wanted to make sure I had enough work to sustain me. As I started to move more in the direction of fine art and move away from design it’s been hard to let some work go because I knew it would be too time consuming and take me away from painting. The internal battle would rage each and every time work was offered to me. More often than not I’d let the fear get to me and I’d take the job and spend a lot of time peering over my shoulder at my empty easel, longing for time to paint. Little by little, I offered those jobs to friends even, as a knot in my stomach tightened, I just let go and believed everything would be alright. It took me a while to get to that place.
I’m not bringing in the bucks I did as a designer, but I’ve found a new normal and it feels good to spend most of my “work” hours painting or doing marketing etc in relation to the painting. My new found normal was put to the test when I heard of a freelance opportunity that had come up, that, in the good ole’ days I would have jumped at. Maybe 5 seconds passed while I considering myself in a cubicle designing, and then I broke out into a down right cackle!! I just roared with happy laughter because I realized I didn’t “need” that job and I was finally FREE!!
Don’t forget to drop by and say hi this Saturday from 10am to 5pm. I’ll be showing at the Affordable Art Fair at the Montclair Art Museum. Free admission to the museum the whole day too!