It is the middle of week three of my residency at SVA. I’m exhausted and exhilarated all at once if that’s possible. The first two weeks were an epic struggle with my inner demons and doubts. The first round of critiques left me feeling inspired and confused and quite a bit lost. In fairness, that is what they are supposed to do.
I felt like I was working and working and everything I painted looked like I was copying another painting I’d seen by someone else. The frustration was mounting and I was beginning to doubt my ability to paint and my life path in general. The program took us out to the Hamptons to visit the studios of some wonderful artists like Steve Miller, Matthew Satz, Alice Hope, Frank Gillette and Hiroyuki Hamamda. Again, I was very inspired.
That night, after I returned, I called a very dear friend to update her on the residency. She gave me a very strong pep talk and basically boosted me up and gave me permission to do my own thing and believe in myself. She reminded me of who I am and where I come from. I felt much better! The next morning, I had no acrylics and no brushes in the house since they were all in my studio in NYC, but was invigorated to paint. I thought of what I had in the house. All I had were old cans of paint and mixing sticks in the basement.
I have to say I never thought I could love latex paint the way I am now. It’s my new muse!! Can’t wait to get back at it. Very exciting!